We are learning to write an interesting first sentence to hook our reader.
My first sentence was" One day there was a boy chilling on his Xbox."
This is my improved sentence "RA TA TA TA the lights of the tv glooming
from darkness to light PEW BOOM the boy was focused and engrossed about his game
most of his attention went to the tv".
I think my updated sentence is way better than the last what do you think ??
Does my opening sentence hook my attention?
Your story gave me a picture in my head Marleigh and your words made me want to read more.Well done.I like it when I can get a picture in my head as then I feel I can be transported into the story and feel like I am part of it.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your learning with us.